The Star Wars Holiday Special comic strip with action figures! (Part One)

Woaaaaah!

While Sosio is on holiday and Tork is laid up with an inflamed foreskin, I've had precious little sane company. To this end, I hereby present The Star Wars Holiday Special comic strip with action figures! (Part One).

If you thought the original was bad enough, hang onto your tentacles folks. I really need to lie down now.

 

The Menopause

I need some marijuana. To get me through The Star Wars Holiday Special.

I've managed this cantina for a good few years now, I can tell you. I've put my life and soul into making this a classy place. This Lady ain't no tramp! People say 'Ackmena, why don't you retire?' to which I reply, there's life in the old womp rat yet.

But suggesting I did retire - I'm just saying this, of course, don't get any ideas - I did once consider a course in counselling for other menopausal cantina bartenders. 'No droids!' I hear them grumble on a regular basis. Never mind, it's just their hormones talking.

Tork! Don't just stand there! We have customers, if you hadn't noticed! Sometimes I think you're too tall, Tork. It's like addressing the Jedi Temple up there. People say I have my head in the clouds... tut tut.

Welcome!

Welcome to Starved Walrus Productions.

 

 

Ackmena, during her menstrual spin cycle.

I am the divine Ackmena DaVadge, welcome to my humble cantina. Pull up a stool, smoke a small child. Partake of some orange juice through a gap in your wig if you like. I'll be mother.

This is my fiancée Krelman. I need this guy like the hole in his head but he's a steady drinker, so that's something.

 

Krelman and I have formed something of a double act if you will. We're the toast of Tatooine when it comes to our Eleven O'Clock number. Being the toast of Tatooine is rather a sore point if you're Owen and Beru Lars though!

Everything is Seventies brown, but you love it. That's why you're here.

 

Another drink? Let me oblige. That's why I'M here!