Wuher takes a wry look
at some cantina patrons...
If you believe that
silly old Expanded Universe nonsense then everyone in the Cantina that fateful
day Obi Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker walked in was a spy, undercover Jedi,
Force sensitive, rebel sympathiser... not so! Really most of the guys in there
were just normal freaks enjoying a drink. Look at that M'iiyoo'm Onith. Yes,
the plain girl. She's fond of exaggerating the facts, shall we say.
M'iiyoo'm likes to put
about that she's a radical feminist and a bit nuts, like that chick off Basic
Instinct. She even invented this story that she laid Feltipern Trevagg then
gutted and ate his intestines later. The fact he was seen still hanging round
the Cantina over the next thirty years put paid to that little yarn M'iiyoo'm
spun. Black Widow she isn't. In fact he simply used her horribly due to the
fact she was the resident ugly girl and would go with anybody. She flirted with
Arleil Schous at Richard Pryor's Star Bar but the bouncer Fuzz soon put a
dampener on their night. Wracked with despair, M'iiyoo'm finally found her
niche and made a million using her proboscis to unblock the drains of Hutts.
Another good example
of a nobody with an over the top back-story is Elis Helrot. Mercenary? Bounty
Hunter? Arch-criminal? The only thing he's guilty of is copyright infringement
after watching 'Scream'. Ill-fated but well-insulated, that one.
I'm so lonely. I beat my wife...
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